
"Lessons from Jacob’s Deathbed!"
Jacob is sick and about to die.
Eager to ensure that he will be buried in the land of Canaan,
he calls Joseph to his bedside and
asks him for one final favor:
“Do for me chesed ve-emet, (kindness and truth).
Do not bury me in Egypt.”
The kindness afforded the dead by burying them
is a purely motivated one.
It is a done without any expectation of reward or reciprocation.
However, there is another type of chesed ve-emet
done for a person before death.
These acts of kindness are ones that
bring greater peace to the world.
A deathbed can be an opportunity to
reflect on broken or badly damaged relationships.
Beyond all the hurt and pain, and
all the walls that both sides have built up,
there may be intense love hidden deep within,
that has been ignored and repressed for years.
In these final moments this love
can be acknowledged, and perhaps forgiveness
and reconciliation achieved.
In addition, a person on their deathbed may
be carrying a secret that has never shared, or
a lie never owned up to.
Helping this person
to say what needs to be said while there is still time,
is a tremendous kindness.
Finally, an ethical will is a form of emet (truth).
It allows a person by sharing their life lessons and experiences
to create a legacy that will live on,
in some way, beyond their death.
We can ask a person who is dying, questions about their lives.
What lessons did they learn?
What would they want others to remember about them?
What moments or times did they find most meaningful?
The answers can be saved, treasured, and passed down,
giving expression to the uniqueness and sanctity of each life.
The story of Jacob described in this parashah helps us focus on
the opportunities for kindness available to us
both before and after death.
Shabbat shalom
Elissa
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