“The Death of Nadav and Avihu.”
“The sons of Aaron, Nadav and Avihu, each took his fire pan…
And they brought before Hashem an alien fire that
God had not commanded them.
A fire came forth from before Hashem and consumed them,
And they died before Hashem.”
They attempted to reach high up into the spiritual realms,
to go where the presence of God is so very real and intense.
Their zeal wore down the threads that connected their souls to their bodies.
The threads snapped and their souls left this world and
soared on to even higher realms, resulting in a loss of their foothold here.
In their zeal for transcendence and connection to the divine
they overstepped the boundaries that keep us firmly rooted in this world.
The deaths of Aaron’s two sons can then be understood
as a result of their desire for an excessive and
untenable closeness to God.
Nadav and Avihu died on the same day as the inauguration of the Tabernacle.
While the people fell on their faces and rejoiced that their
efforts to connect with God the ‘correct’ way
had been blessed with success.
Nadav and Avihu faced the repercussions of attempting to connect with God in a ‘wrong' way.
“And Aaron was silent.”
Silence in the face of such an enormous loss.
No words can express the intensity of losing a child.
The holy Zohar tells us that,
“All weeping which cannot be expressed vocally is the complete (perfect) weeping.”
Yet we, who can’t imagine being like Aaron,
cry out, scream, and wail at the profound loss of a child.
We, who have lost a child, ask,
“Why did my baby die,”
“Why didn’t I die instead.”
We would gladly take the place of our deceased children.
The world feels unknowable and unsafe.
We rail against our perception of justice.
We are forced to acknowledge our lack of control and
acquiesce to what is.
The reality is not what we wanted, yearned for, or dreamt about.
The challenge to continue fully living can often feel insurmountable.
Yet, we wake up every morning and continue to live the life we have been given.
In our lifetime we are only capable of a limited understanding of God, we do not have access to the big picture.
In our lives we are challenged to find the “right” ways to connect to God.
Like Aaron we can acknowledge our limited understanding,
choose to be faithful and
believe that God's ways are only good.
Much love and Shabbat shalom
Elissa
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