The Jewish Journey of Love
We often talk about the five love languages as shared by Gary Chapman in the 1990’s. He suggested that words of affirmation, giving of gifts, acts of service, quality time spent together, and physical touch are the ways we express and give love to one another.
These 5 ways help us to understand how love is shared and experienced in different ways and degrees by different people.
Perhaps we can see the Jewish calendar as a yearly journey through different ways that G-d expresses His love for us, and different ways that we learn to receive, respond to and reciprocate that love.
The central mitzvah of the holiday of Pesach is to tell the story: “And you shall tell your child on that day…”
We remember what G-d did for us and we express our gratitude through words. We tell, we sing Hallel, praise G-d, and recount the miracles of the Exodus. The more we speak about it the better. It is a holiday where we express our love and gratitude through our speech.
Pesach is a holiday where our love is spoken. We receive Divine love by remembering what G-d has done for us, and we respond by repeatedly telling the story.
On the holiday of Shavuot, G-d is giving us the greatest gift of all, the gift of the Torah.
The Sages describe the revelation at Sinai with the intimate imagery of a kiss between G-d and the Jewish people. It is when Heaven and earth meet. This is the time and place where love is expressed by gift giving.
The Torah teaches us how to live. Through the mitzvot, it teaches us how to turn our love for G-d and for other people into acts of service. The Torah reveals to us how to be in a relationship with G-d. It instructs us how to act and what to do.
Then comes Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, which are days of seeing and being seen. We stand before G-d and acknowledge G-d as our Creator and King. On Yom Kippur, we show up with all our vulnerability and all our whole selves. Nothing is hidden from G-d.
G-d sees all of us. Our successes, our failures, our hopes, our regrets, the things we are proud of and the things we wish we could change.
G-d, Who knows us better than we know ourselves, is inviting all of us into a relationship with Him.
There is something deeply intimate about being truly seen and still being loved.
And then comes the holiday of Sukkos, the holiday of love expressed by touch and time spent together.
We don't just talk about our relationship with G-d. We experience it in a very physical way; in the small huts we build and live in. For seven days, we eat, learn, celebrate and spend time there. We leave the security of our permanent homes and enter a temporary space where we are surrounded by the presence of G-d. Our mutual love is expressed by spending time with each other.
The sukkah is also a Divine embrace.
The halachic structure of the sukkah requires two complete walls and a third partial wall, which can beautifully evoke the shape of an arm reaching around us. One wall is the length of the shoulder to the elbow. The second wall is the length of the elbow to the wrist. Finally, the third partial wall is the hand. The 2 ½ walls are like a divine hug of love- love expressed through touch.
We spend time with G-d, and we allow ourselves to be held by His presence.
Thus, the Jewish calendar can be seen through the lens of a story of love.
On Pesach we tell G-d about our love and our gratitude through our speech. Our words recount the way that G-d lovingly redeemed us from bondage in Eygpt.
On Shavuot we receive the gift of the Torah.
On Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, we are intimately seen by G-d in all our vulnerability, with no ability to hide.
Finally, on Sukkot we spend time with G-d and feel held by G-d’s divine hug.
G-d gives and we respond.
G-d gives us words, and we speak.
G-d gives us Torah, and we do and learn.
G-d sees us, and we turn our eyes toward Him.
G-d invites us into the sukkahs that we have built and choose to enter.
The Jewish calendar framed in this way is teaching us to recognize Divine love and to find ways to reciprocate that love. It is in the way we pray, the words we say and the thoughts we have. It is in the way we give and serve. In what we do and what we give.
Sometimes, the greatest expression of love is simply to be together.
The Jewish year is a journey through the many languages of love, and ultimately an invitation to recognize that love. When we receive love, we may be better equipped to return that love and also carry it forward into the world.
With love
Chag Sameach
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